A Family Lawyer’s Story from the Courtrooms of Indore
I still remember that evening very clearly.
It was raining outside the family court in Indore. Most clients had already left, and I was preparing to close for the day when my assistant softly said:
“Sir, one last client is waiting. She says it is urgent.”
A woman walked towards me quietly. She looked emotionally exhausted. Her eyes were swollen as if she had not slept properly for days. She sat down slowly, held her handbag tightly, and for almost two minutes, she said nothing.
As a family lawyer, I have learned that silence often speaks more painfully than words.
Then suddenly, she asked me something I have heard countless times in my career:
“Sir… why do marriages break even when people genuinely love each other?”
I looked at her for a moment, but honestly, after years of handling divorce matters, I still do not have an easy answer to that question.
Because marriages in India rarely break because love never existed.
Most marriages break because somewhere along the journey, love stops feeling emotionally safe.
That woman was married for eleven years.
She told me how her husband used to wait outside her college years ago just to meet her for five minutes.
How they fought with their families to get married.
How they started their life in a small rented house with very little money but a lot of dreams.
And while narrating all this, she smiled briefly.
But then her eyes filled with tears.
“Sir, today we live in the same house, but we have not spoken properly for months.”
That sentence stayed with me for a very long time.
Because after years inside family courts, I have realized something heartbreaking:
Most Indian marriages do not end loudly.
They die slowly in silence.
Not with one big incident.
But with thousands of small emotional wounds that remain ignored for years.
Sometimes it starts with busy schedules.
The husband starts working longer hours.
The wife keeps waiting emotionally.
Conversations become shorter.
Irritation becomes common.
Small fights remain unresolved.
Then slowly, emotional distance enters the marriage.
And the tragedy is this:
Most couples do not even notice when they emotionally stop being partners.
I once handled a case where the husband told me:
“Sir, I earned everything for my family. I gave my wife a house, a car, financial security… but she says I was never emotionally available.”
That man genuinely looked confused.
Because many people in Indian marriages are taught how to fulfill responsibilities.
But very few are taught how to fulfill emotional needs.
A few months later, I met his wife separately during mediation.
And while crying, she said:
“Sir, I never wanted luxury. I only wanted him to sit with me for ten minutes without looking irritated.”
That day, I realized again how marriages often collapse not because of lack of money, but because of lack of emotional presence.
In family courts, people see legal files.
I see unfinished love stories.
I see husbands pretending to stay strong while secretly breaking inside because they may not get custody of their children.
I see wives who spent years saving their marriage but finally became emotionally exhausted.
I see parents sitting outside courtrooms with folded hands praying that somehow their children reconcile.
And honestly, one of the saddest moments for me as a lawyer is when couples who once loved each other deeply cannot even sit together peacefully for five minutes during counseling.
I remember one husband who completely broke down in my office after a hearing.
He kept saying:
“Sir, we used to talk till 2 AM every night before marriage. Today she blocks my number.”
There was pain in his voice that no legal provision can truly explain.
Similarly, I remember a wife who once told me:
“Sir, I did not leave the marriage because I stopped loving him. I left because I stopped feeling emotionally valued.”
That sentence explains many Indian divorces today.
People think marriages break because of cheating alone.
No.
Cheating is often the final crack in a relationship that was already emotionally collapsing for years.
Most marriages start breaking much earlier.
When communication dies.
When respect disappears.
When ego becomes bigger than understanding.
When one partner keeps suffering silently while the other becomes emotionally unavailable.
Indian marriages also break because too many people interfere emotionally.
Families interfere.
Relatives interfere.
Society interferes.
Sometimes husband and wife never truly get the privacy needed to build emotional understanding with each other.
Instead of solving problems together, they start defending themselves before families.
And slowly, marriage becomes less about partnership and more about pressure.
I have also seen how social media quietly damages relationships.
People compare marriages constantly.
One couple posts smiling vacation photographs online while silently struggling emotionally inside the house.
Another spouse starts believing their own marriage is unhappy because it does not look “perfect” like others online.
But real marriages are never perfect.
Real marriages survive through patience, forgiveness, understanding, and emotional effort.
Not through filtered photographs.
One thing I have painfully realized over the years is that many Indian couples are emotionally lonely even while living together.
A husband may feel unheard for years.
A wife may feel unappreciated for years.
But both continue living normally before society.
Because Indian society teaches people how to continue relationships.
It rarely teaches them how to emotionally heal relationships.
And then one day, after years of silence, one spouse finally says:
“I cannot do this anymore.”
That sentence does not come from one fight.
It comes from years of emotional exhaustion.
As a lawyer in Indore handling divorce matters almost daily, I have seen how deeply separation affects people mentally.
Some stop eating properly.
Some lose sleep.
Some develop anxiety.
Some completely lose confidence in themselves.
And when children are involved, the pain becomes even more heartbreaking.
I once saw a small child standing silently outside the courtroom holding both parents’ hands separately.
The parents were discussing custody inside.
The child did not understand legal language.
But the child understood one thing very clearly:
Something was breaking inside the family forever.
That image still stays with me.
People think divorce is only a legal process.
It is not.
It is emotional grief.
It is mourning the loss of the person you once believed would stay forever.
It is waking up one day and realizing the person who once felt like home now feels emotionally distant like a stranger.
And the saddest part is this:
Most couples never imagined their marriage would reach court one day.
Nobody marries thinking they will eventually fight through lawyers.
Nobody takes wedding vows imagining future court hearings, maintenance disputes, custody battles, or allegations.
Every couple begins with hope.
Every couple begins believing their love will survive everything.
But relationships slowly collapse when emotional care disappears.
After years in family courts, I have understood one truth very deeply:
Indian marriages do not break because people stop needing love.
They break because people stop feeling emotionally understood, respected, heard, and valued by the person they love the most.
And honestly, that is one of the most painful human experiences to witness repeatedly as a family lawyer.
Even today, after handling countless divorce matters, one moment still hurts me every time.
When court proceedings end, both husband and wife walk away separately without looking at each other.
And while watching them leave, I sometimes think:
At one point in life, these two people were willing to fight the entire world just to stay together.
Now they are emotionally unable to walk beside each other for even a few seconds.
That is how silently marriages break.
Not always because love never existed.
But because somewhere along the journey, pain became louder than love.
Advocate J.S. Rohilla (Civil & Criminal Lawyer in Indore)
Contact: 88271 22304